Speaking of Life...


Annoy your roommate

Ok when one of us geeks makes it to college, we better pray to God in heaven not to have a roommate. But if God decides to ignore that prayer, I have found our next best thing.


  1. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
  2. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
  3. Eat a bag of marshmallows before you go to bed. The next day, spray three bottles of whipped cream all over your floor. Say you got sick.
  4. Eat lots of alphabet soup. Throw out any of the letters that are in your roommate's name; claim you want nothing to do with them.
  5. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
  6. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, "It's not funny anymore."
  7. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When s/he leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, you can come out now."
  8. Find out your roommate's mother's name. Tatoo it on your inner thigh, then claim, "She made me do it!"
  9. Five minutes after you go to bed, claim that you think the Boogeyman is hiding in your closet. Make your roommate check the closet. Five minutes later, claim he is hiding under your bed. Make your roommate check. Repeat as desired.
  10. Buy a lava lamp. Stare at it for hours, imitating its movements with your face.
  11. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate that the lobster is making up his own rules.
  12. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
  13. Give each of your walls a different name. Whenever you can't answer a problem, ask each of your walls. Write down their responses, then ask your ceiling for the final answer. Complain to your roommate that you don't trust your ceiling.
  14. Give your roommate a plastic bag. Ask him/her to shit in it because your pet dung beetles are hungry.
  15. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.
  16. Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that you think the refrigerator has been taking steroids.
  17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
  18. If you know that s/he is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat bald naked Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing.
  19. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
  20. Insist on writing the entire lyrics to American Pie on your ceiling above your bed. Sing them every night before you go to bed.

Whoa that took a while. If you want any more, there's about a million gazillion at this site.

Nighty nights for now!!! <3>


  • OMG ELISE. That literally made me spit ginger ale all over the computer screen and then almost wet myself. I hope you're proud.

    But seriously, you know I'm going to try ALL of those techniques out. *innocent grin*

    By Blogger salamander, at 12/31/2004  

  • But seriously, I'm not going to be your roommate.

    Yes, I am infact, QUITE proud. And I also love ginger ale so I am just tickled pink.

    By Blogger Flolio, at 1/01/2005  

Yorum Gönder

<< Home